be silent

Be silent , my heart, for space hardly hear you,

be silent for the phantoms of the night,

will not give heed to the whisperings of your secrets,

nor will the processsion of darkness halt before your dreams.

Be silent, how can the soul be patient untie ,

slumber restores the happy phantoms of hope and light.

Be silent, give heed my heart,

wakefullness will bring us closer to the stars.

Be silent, for the raging tempest is

ridiculing your inner whispering,

caves of the valleys do not echo,

the vibration of your strings.

Dawn is breaking,

speak up if you are able my heart,

why do you not speak?

has not the silence of night left.

A song in your inner depths with,

which you may meet dawn,

you may meet beloved.

Are you not capable of flying with birds,

has a horrible night weakened your wings.

Rise ,

my heart , walk with dawn.

walk with beloved , for the night,

has passed , and fear of darkness vanished.

Rise,

my heart,

raise your voice with music.

For he who stares not dawn with his songs

is one of teh sons of ever darkness.

- Atif Hussain

Unknown...

Stranger i am in this city and there is a severe solitude & painfull lonesomeness in my exile.i am alone but incase in my aloneness, i contemplate on unknown tht filled my dreams with the spectre of light and hope.

Stranger among my own people and have no friends , whenever i met someone or see someone i always say within myself "who is he" and how do i know him and why now when everything's over he is here, and why still i am polite to him.when ever i hear my tongue speak, my ear wonder over my voice , i see my inner subletles (self) smiling,crying,braving and fearing and whole my existence wonders on my own substance and in a same time my soul interrogates my heart and in a whole process i remain unknown , engulfed by tremendous silence.

My inner being is all of what im not by outside and my words are totally opposite with my thoughts, what is in face are not in soul, got something in eyes which did not lay in my soul.

Within myself i roamed in whole universe from east to west but could not find a place to rest, now did i find any human being i perturbed with, neither any being who would hearken to my mind.

At Dawn when i opened my sleepless eyes , myself imprisoned in a dark cave from whose ceiling hang the insects and upon floor crawl the vipers and darkness spilled on each corner of room.

whenever i met to light, the shadows of my being follows me but the shadows of my spirit precedes me and lead the way to unknown place seeking things beyond my understandings and graspings objects that are meaning less to me.

I am stranger until the white and friendly wings of death carry me home into my beautiful abode where light and peace and understanding abide , and will wait for my friends who are also be able to rescued by friendly trap of time from the narrow , dark world , the world of all the deceptions.

There is a place where words are born of silence,
A place where the whispers of the heart arise.
There is a place where voices sing your beauty,
A place where every breeath
carves your image
in my soul.

Choosing to love..

You don't choose whom you love. He chooses them. If you had that
choice to choose; then the road would be simple. Whom he puts in
your life, is part of your test: to bear with them, to accept them
and most of all to love them despite all that they may agitate you with.
After all, they come from Him and they return to Him, just like you
did and will do. "... And We have made some of you as a trial for others: will you have patience? And your Lord is Ever All-Seer "

(Surah al-Furqan:20)

Cryin...

In the West we are conditioned to believe that at the beginning of every journey we should know where we are going and how to get there. Caught in this conditioning, we apply it to spiritual life: what is the goal we seek and what are the practices that will take us there? But the real journey of the soul is not of our own choosing, nor can we find our own way. We are responding to a call that will take us beyond the known into the unknown, beyond the world of forms into the formless.The spiritual journey is the most difficult undertaking. It is a voluntary crucifixion in which we die to the ego. Of our own accord we would never turn away from the world with its many attractions and illusions and begin this painful, lonely quest. It is only because He calls us, because He attracts our attention with His love, that we set out upon the path of no return. Like a magnet He draws us to Him with love, for, in the words of the Sufi poet Nizami,

"If the magnet were not loving, how could it attract the iron with such longing?"

In the innermost chamber of the heart we have seen His face but this is hidden from consciousness. The heart speaks a language so different from that of the mind and the ego that we are not directly aware of what has happened. Instead we are left with a feeling of the emptiness of our ordinary life. The painful side of spiritual awakening is that the world becomes desolate. We may try to improve our outer situation, work harder, make money, or take a vacation. But we soon find that this is no answer. What is it that we really want? Why is the outer world losing its attraction? Friends and interests that used to be fulfilling can seem empty, and we are left only with a discontent that we cannot satisfy.We long for what our heart knows to be real, for love's union which is hidden beneath the surface of our lives. When we are awakened to this real love we can never be satisfied by anything else. This is why the world begins to lose its attraction, why we become discontented. We have been given a glimpse of something else, the real substance of our own self. Longing is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it takes us home, and a curse because of the pain it brings. Nothing can satisfy us but union with God. Rabi'a, who knew the deepest meaning of love's pain, expresses this in her usual straightforward way:
"The source of my grief and loneliness is deep
in my breast.
This is a disease no doctor can cure.
Only union with the Friend can cure it."

Jalaluddin Rumi once said:
"Love is a flame that burns away all that is not Allah."

Love is a Beautiful and Divine Gift that Allah has blessed us all with.
Love is what keeps the Universe in motion, it keeps the world turning, and it's what circulates in our blood. The essence of our Creation is Love.

In the sense of Romantic relationships, Allah tells us to Love one another for His sake. We Love a human being because he/she is also another Creation of Allah, and the fact that they're in our lives means that they're a blessing from Allah. Your family, your friends, your loved ones, they are all gifts to you from the Divine. The Special One ... the twin half or soul mate ... is a special blessing. The key to a successful marriage or union of souls is to understand the truth of "Love is a flame that burns away all that is not Allah."

Allah is the UNITER, the MATCHMAKER, the PILLAR OF STRENGTH and UNITY in the relationship. Whenever there is a problem between the couples, it should be understood that it is normal, but it should also be meditated that Allah is the solution to all problems. Love is friendship on fire, as many people say. Friends are granted to you from Allah, and so in turn, there will only be Beauty and Success for those who are mindful of Allah and his blessed gift of love.

If one loves someone because it gives pleasure, one should not be regarded as loving that person at all. The love is, in reality, though this is not perceived, directed towards the pleasure. The source of the pleasure is the secondary object of attention, and it is perceived only because the perception of the pleasure is not well enough developed for the real feeling to be identified and described.
(Imam al-Ghazali )


Many mistakes may occur in love. The first of them is that people imagine that the object of love is an existent thing...In fact, love's object remains forever nonexistent, but most lovers are not aware of this, unless they should be knowers of the realities.

(Shaykh Muhyiddin Ibn 'Arabi)

True love seeks sacrifice and I’ve given it all.
This, this is true love in it’s purest form.
I turn my face towards You now.
The Lord of my world and the Heavens above.
I am Yours and Yours, alone.
My prayer, my sacrifice are only for You.
My life and death are Yours to take.
A promise I make.
To lay my life for You.
An oath that I worship.
No-one but You.

(Inspired by dua of The Holy Prophet (pbuh) to be read at Qurbani time)

story...

A Sufi master and his disciple were walking across a desert in Africa.
When night fell, they pitched their tent and lay down to rest.
'How silent it is!' said the disciple.
'Never say "how silent it is",' replied the master.
'Say rather: "I cannot hear nature".

Dont ever let someone tell you you can't do something. If you got a dream, you gotta protect it. When people can't do something themselves, they wanna tell you, "you can't do it". You want something..go get it. Period.

Most people are afraid that if they back off a little that the object of their affection will move on and eventually forget about them. But, ironically, the real reason is that they, themselves, are afraid that if they back off that THEY will forget about the object of their affection and move on, and this they don't want to do.

when i come to the end of the road

And the sun has set for me,

I want no rites in a gloom filled room!

why cry for a soul set free!

Miss me a little -

but not too long

And not with your head bowed low,

remember the love that we once shared,

Miss me -

but let me go.

For this is a journey we all must take

And each must go alone;

It's all a part of the Masters' plan

A step on the road to home.

when you are lonely and sick of heart

Go to the friends we know

And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds.

Miss me -

but let me go.!!

life's Flame ..

Love is a source of many great troubles.
But lacking love
is a disgrace

for travelers upon this path.

Love is the life force of the entire universe-
those who lack love
are already dead.

- Awhad al-Din Kirmani

the sufi's wild dance

one thousand revolutions

within allah's palm

Could you stop the flood
Of tears if that's what poured

Straight down my cheeks,
like a never ending stream of despair?

Could you take away all the fear
that one day, like a bird,

You might fly away from me and never return again?

Could you stop a mental train wreck
Going on inside of my head
when everything is colliding
and crashing within me?

Could you...

For me?
............................


(I wrote it in two minutes, eh, so it's not all that great. But it was kinda screaming out to me inside. It was something that I needed to write down)

please don't leave

please

don't

go.

sunshine hurts my eyes.
the only cage i'm in is one i've made myself.

why, then,
can't i break out of it?

'you haven't lost
until you've given up,
'they remind me.

'don't give up.'

sometimes i wonder -
what if i already have given up?

have i lost,

then?

the roads are too long,

too slippery.

it's too easy to get lost.
and i have no map.

could someone be my map?

please?

my eyes are hollow.

happiness is hiding from me,
silence is stalking, suffocating.

how do i smile?

A story by Khalil Gibran

I was strolling in the gardens of an insane asylum when I met a young man who was reading a philosophy book.

His behavior and his evident good health made him stand out from the other inmates.

I sat down beside him and asked:
‘What are you doing here?’

He looked at me, surprised. But seeing that I was not one of the doctors, he replied:

‘It’s very simple. My father, a brilliant lawyer, wanted me to be like him. My uncle, who owns a large emporium, hoped I would follow his example. My mother wanted me to be the image of her beloved father. My sister always set her husband before me as an example of the successful man. My brother tried to train me up to be a fine athlete like himself.

And the same thing happened at school, with the piano teacher and the English teacher - they were all convinced and determined that they were the best possible example to follow. None of them looked at me as one should look at a man, but as if they were looking in a mirror.

So I decided to enter this asylum. At least here I can be myself.’

Trash is culture
Right next to the golden arches,
as seen on the side of a garbage.
The irony abounds.

Two wolves ...

An old Cherokee chief is teaching his grandson about life:"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy. "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves."One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego."The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
This same fight is going on inside you
and inside every other person, too."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,
"Which wolf will win?"
The old chief simply replied,

"The one you feed."

Another..

Life is this, dear reader ...
the inhalation and exhalation of the breath.
One passes, another enters.

Spring is here.
I wish for you re-birth.
Sap of life.
Color of bloom.
Peace

Guider...

You may follow anyone. if you can see from those meetings that some love is awakening in your heart for God Almighty,thn you must keep with those meetings.The love of God Almighty is not so easy, because you can not imagine Him. He is beyond our imagination.Therefore God Almighty has put His Divine representation into His prophets.Finally, He gave that Divine representation to His beloved Muhammad, blessings of Allah be upon him.


He was beloved by his Lord, Almighty God.

.

the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

- It is said that there are two ways of dealing with people : One way is to control them, the other is to respect them. By controlling, you weaken the will of the other person. By respecting, you acknowledge the other's personal will. In one case, you make a person a slave, in the other you make him a partner.

- Change is an inevitable part of life. The seasons change, our feelings change, our appearance will change, and our health will change. Life is easier when we accept these changes and recognize how every moment of our journey is an important part of the growth of our soul.

- When it rains we sometimes see a rainbow. Moisture and light cooperate to create a stairway to heaven. We witness the seasons come and go in perfect timing. We watch as Summer fades into Fall, and Fall into Winter. Then we watch as the snow melts away and Spring appears. Just as we trust that the seasons will change, we must trust that we can weather the storms of life. When God is present, nothing can prevail against us.

Never ending night;

Reach for the stars above,

so they can guide you.

Darkness reigned today
Yet the light inside my soul
Will never grow dim

(these lines came arose in mind when i ended up my Jumma Prayer)

A broken heart beats
Like an echo of the dead
A memory gone

haiku..

Raining again,
it's always everlasting sound
Music in darkness

(No critiques, please. I wrote this out of my own feelings and made a picture to go with it. And don't ask what's wrong, that's for me to know and you never to know)

..

Reason is powerless in the expression of Love. Love alone is capable of revealing the truth of Love and being a Lover. The way of our prophets is the way of Truth. If you want to live, die in Love; die in Love if you want to remain alive.

Words firmented, twas long before they reached me. When they got here I knew them. A song I remember I just heard in the wind. That breeze carried the lyric forever until I was ready to breathe the air of love, with my sail full, battery charged, running outside, chasing the gust that carries the next tune. That melody fills my lungs, 'tis where it lives. I feel it there. If I'm still, stagnant air. When I hunt, I find worlds full to inhale. The silver lining was the cloud shading me from terrible burn. A storm is coming, I'm excited to see the music it brings.....

Like Lalla, I dance; my steps are light.
Uplifted, I leave no prints whirling in the garden.
With each step the reassurance, my toe pointed forward, the direction I'm headed.
My minds eye looks up, my chest engulfed with light.
the best wine, fruitful and filling. I'm drunk

.

love? ?

That lonesome leaf

Where I wrote your name

Still clings on,

As autumn wins.

Very soon it shall pass away too,

But who cares for a broken wing?

That Ocean breeze knows,

Where your footsteps lie.

It whispers those secrets to the waves,

So I try to bribe the shore,

But what will melt the sea

That died long ago?

May be the leaf foiled the wind

And fell somewhere near your feet,

May be the sands turned against the sea,

And took me there where you hid,

But never did it made the blind know

that every time it was the mute ,

who tried to show that she loved him..…

(a new poem by my friend to me let me know how you all feel abt it :)

Love is like a seed waiting to blossom. It lies beneath every surface waiting to be nourished. Every drop it is fed sprouts a new petal, its growth stimulated through the pleasure of commitment; for commitment breeds great pleasure. As each essence unfolds from within, it manifests itself outwardly, scattering its comfort to the surroundings. The blossoming of this love emulates into a source of illumination that guides the wandering, nourishes the deprived and calms the distraught.

Love is delicate. There are those who are reckless with love often letting it slip from their grasp with improper attention and lack of commitment. There are those who devour it in one gulp, swallowing without digestion. The value of true love is hidden from them or rather it melts upon consumption, denying them of an everlasting taste. Their hearts are left cold and emptiness within them persists.

It is only those who savour every drop of it while preserving its value, ensuring that it becomes a part of them and moulds them into the essence of their being, whose hearts wholly benefit. They let the stalk of love remain firmly rooted while receiving the fragrance of its scent and the sweetness of its taste, always admiring its precious and timeless beauty. They regard love as a life support that connects them with its Owner.

Like an admirer of an art piece, ever longing to meet its artist.

All of life is a journey. Which paths we take, what we look back on, and what we look forward to is up to us. We determine our destination, what kind of road we will take to get there, and how happy we are when we get there.

The Eyes of Love never turn away from its Source

There are times when we just sit in isolation and ponder over why our hearts erupt into such feelings. Feelings that plunge us into attachment for someone close to us. We wonder why our hearts flutter graciously whenever we are around that special person in our lives and even when we are not in their company, our heart aches in yearning and remembrance of that person.

Perhaps the key lies to the source of love. It is impossible to describe love in its whole, just as it is impossible to describe its Creator in whole. Even substituting expressions of our dimension doesn't wholly amount to what it really feels inside when the heart feels love. Love is exquisite. It is a name of His that He has reserved in a special place for His creation. In a place where the entire body is sustained from its core, with all vessels connected to it. It functions as a life support pumping existence to every outlet.

Surely, one who truly treasures and acknowledges the splendours he has been endowed with looks to the origins of its intricate beauty and glorifies its Maker. What love beholds really, only He knows, for it came from Him and surely to Him it must return.

Possessing Love

The ones who look to love as something that has been simply given to them for their possession fail to capture its true essence. As soon as it comes to them, they savour it with all their might, grasping it tight, hoping it to never fade away. To them love is of material possession, for when it exists, to them it exists as theirs. Hence, when it departs, they feel that a part of them departs along with it, caving a crater of emptiness within their hearts.

Those who greet love like a fountain spring cleansing and soothing them at every chance truly acknowledge its existence. These are the hearts that detect the Eternity of Love, acknowledging love in every corner of existence, knowing that it is the Name that drives creation, the battery of survival. To them love is immaterial. It never begins and it never ends.

ruin the air by Atif

Love once dwelt here in my head with all of its mindless fantasies
it ruled my every thought
Offering to do the illogical
Willing to do anything to achieve its goal

I'm not who I was anymore
You can't come back again
I'm too far gone
I'm not who I was anymore

I can't be blamed for your mistake
You told me I wasn't worth it
You said you never meant those things you said
You expected me to wait
And my heart still screams out for you

But I'm not who I was anymore
You can't come back again
I'm too far gone
I'm not who I was anymore

I'm too far to turn back now
The wounds are slow to heal
But I can't come back
You never could understand

(Moving on is hard and some times you have to hold back the tears, smile, pretend everything will be okay and move on )

....

what innumerable follies laid waste my waking n sleepings thoughts after evening last night.i wished to annihilate the tedious intervening days.i chafed against the work of university.At night in my bedroom n by day in the class room there are unacceptable ideas comes between me n the page.I strove to read "the syllables of word * **love** were called to me through the silence in which my soul luxuriated n cast an eastern enchasment over me.I could not call my wandering thoughts together. I hardly had any patience with the serious wrok of life which now that it stood between me and my desire ,seemed to me child's play ,Ugly monotonous child's Play.

Could you still protect me?
When your own world is falling down upon you?
Would you still want to hold me?
When you had someone else to call your own?

And as I fall down and look up
Will I see your hand offered to me?
Or will you just keep walking

And leave me all alone
When I wake up crying
From the bad man in my dream
Could I rollover and find you
Or will I turn over to the empty side of the bed?

Misunderstand I Am...

I am instead, a way like that
With pain I bleed, with the stains
I’m weakI have no soul, my mind confused
My heart has torn, my nails are bored

My fingers dancing,
my head is burning
the pencil writing,
instead I fight it

Let’s celebrate, a vision blinded
My nails talk, but yet I bite them
The fingers dance folk;
I think I’ll break them
In my head there’s a mind

And my mind is finding a head
So blank with pain that is blinded
My fingers and the pencil, they keep on dancing
Still sometimes I wonder if anything’s left to wonder

When humanity is lost on this earth
And to find it we cannot afford the cost

2nd thought...

things are not into hands properly and circumstances which made the ambience around my field wont let me sire this time.I know that way how to escape out from these unfavourable beckoned lights.Soul's feeling languid but there's still light somewhere in the depth of heart that might giving the energy to this unhealthy body to move on and faced the hurdles and harsh realities of life.

No hope by Atif Hussain

well, there is no hope for me this time.its the next stroke to my life.Night after night i had passed the house (vacation time).Misspently youth ov my life begins now.

*Guess so*

A amalgamation of fear,hate and amoral brings me to ambiguous life.I might be the anachronism incase o getting affable behaviour from out of my cure heart.I am still considering whether i would go away or spend the assiduous life with not giving time to my own humbly incarnate soul.I in that matter then become the apotheosis of renegades. I sometime soliloquying in mind that i should muster the thoughts with queer sights of responsibility & courage fro pusky labyrinths that caused to let me liv this way and made me sire.

I now adamant to this way for becaming the part of stalwart personality.

Again...

I found something behind the woods. Somebody was laughing like creepy leaves from a devil tree. A laugh without echo and serpent form of tongue licked my entire expectations to watch it. Persuasions are pulled deep inside my space. Subtle light in my fore head intoxicated my dreams. Fascist face was grown inside me. The black eyes still fixed on the wall of my imagination. I sliced the dark corners to kill the intellectual ghosts. I stepped inside to watch it, again and again. Galore of hidden hands pulled words from my land. Choking air hits my nostril again and again. Feminine form of mystery kisses over my fingers. Black and white rainbow haunted me. A soul flew away from me like a butterfly.

Dream....

I haven’t tried to shout in the deep forest. Watching the dark flowers and hearing the sound of insects’ intercourse. Not allowed the surprises to shock me for showing the beheaded animals’ dead bodies. The face I saw in the reflection on the pond water was not mine. Blood flows from my nostril and enjoys my skin, smell-less blood. I again washed my face in the cold cunning water. Somebody called my name from behind. I turned, nobody was there. Hide and seek? Can a tree talk? Who was it? Passing voice? Half moon face? I moved forward in steps of doubt and smelt the night. I felt the wet mud pull my legs into the earth. Panicked walk increased the steps of my breath. I stopped near a tree. Murdering anguish dreams by my silent pain. Smile of darkness covered all over my face. Its closed eyes searched the secrets of mine. Every heart likes to beg to lick blurred secrets with tasteless tongue.

i kill my soul...

I kill my soul in complete serenity
And I watched it day by day
It drowned as if I killed my self
I watched it as it lay
It cried for help and cried aloud

I watched as it passed away
It screamed and shouted, “Forgiveness be seen”
I touched it then walked my way

To soul, to self, and to my own
I killed my soul now is alone
I kill my soul in complete serenity

Can I even kill my sanity?
I did not speak, but did I lie?
Is not, is I did not try
In serenity be killed my soul
Did my self kill my soul to adore?
Did my sanity touch my goal?
Or did it act like a whore?

I kill my soul in complete serenity
And I’ve been trying to kill myself
I even touched the soul of sanity
Yet I could not be my self
I kill my soul in complete serenity

Now I’m watching it drown within myself
With pain I’ve been – and that’s what I’ve seen
Is all ‘cause ye touched my sanity

Now I kill my soul in complete serenity
Until, unless I reach eternity.

simple mind...

I’m too strange, and I’m too deranged
I’m too much I cannot change
I’m so dirty, I’m full of filth

I don’t know how, I can take the guilt
I feel no pain, I’m painless now
I`m so dumb, I feel like a coward

Pain can’t grip me neither can hate
You see, ‘cuz I don’t need a mate

Do not think that I am blind
I have not a piece of mind
My mind is too dirty to find

Because I’m just too …Unkind

ey hello 2009..

Raise your glass,
It’s time for the toast,
Champagne glitters in the grass,
Drink to the time we miss most.

Raise your glass,
Flip a false smile,
Time will pass,
Heal wounds of a bloody while.

Raise your glass,
Tip back your replacement cyanide,
Show some class,

To those we lost on our ride.

(Happy New Year! This is dedicated to those we lost in 2008, like my best soul mate. I wish everyone a safe, happy, healthy, and amazing 2009)

2009.

The old year ends in death,
and the new year starts with it
Don't be put off by the frost,
the earth shall be reborn soon enough

And in death, a new birth
Another circle of life completed
The continual walk forward
on the same path around the sun
A new Step for one

a new wrinkle for another
To the future,and the past
To loves old and new,
romantic or otherwise
To highs and lows,

and all things in between

To everything, anything, and nothing at all


Cheers.

cliche

Dreams, often perceived as irrelevant for the bright, are the essence of one's existence for figments of our imagination are far more conceptual and without a flaw than anything reality ever had to offer. All though, it often occurs to one if (Apart from being a manifestation of our thoughts, ideas, feelings emotions and all that shenanigan) they encourage one to realize all that there is within their creative and constructive abilities. I mock myself upon admitting that I am in love with someone, something so intangible, yet facilitating me to arrive at the truth of a human answer, the unnerving mystery, all that we urge ourselves t o believe. Yet, it never appears to be the truth, it's like truth coming out of a liar's mouth. I wonder if subjective analysis of emotions ever really facilitated one in achieving a certain enough conclusion. Harsh enough as they may seem, they have begun to grow on me over the last two years. I believe I have come to a point where life is a metaphor, and I have a very serious role to play. ( for it is the only thing that claims to belong to me.)
Someone wants to deeply understand. I dont know why.I do not condone self destruction of any sort ( be it smoking or killing your soul by the craft of mean bitchery.) Just somehow, my dreams make me face fears, not just mine.

Read: Insomnia.

Life turns to metaphor again, and again, and again. what does it say about me?
I am a lilly-livered, truth fearing, cry child.

And to be frank,
I somehow find comfort in that.

few lines..

Can I not see,

How time itself weaves

The shards and smithereens together?

Can I not blame,

the being, the supreme,

For every rip in the cashmere?

Its the indelible absurdity of it all,

But Oh,

isnt it

quite the gall?

through the rain

I see the car lights pass by

flashes

flashes of time

How everything

went by

weeks ended

months began

years gone

time to come

everything changes

except the desire

desire of not to change

Darkness veils me out..by Atif

Cold on the outside;
empty on the inside
this feeling is something that cannot be beaten
In all my attempts at overcoming it I have fallen
its power is too overwhelming for one to conquer
lost in this darkness;
overcome with fear and pain
my only wish is to have someone here to rid me of it
someone here to hold me tightly and whisper in my ear
"Everything will be ok, I'm here now"
only they aren’t here, nor are they coming
oh how I long to be rid of this feeling
but onward I must tread with its weight upon my back
unable to be rid of this hurt and pain
for loneliness knows no company...



(i hardly took a 5 min 2 wrote this one nd wrote last nite after leavin my friend the One never be with me..n nw i need no one nor even u)

Rest in dead dream like eternity by Atif.

I’m drowning myself at dawn, once again,
in an empty coffin of tears,
sleeping quietly and waiting for eternity to end, while
intense despair grieves for my innermost fears.
life dies in a murder so stunningly beautiful.
say why you never screamed loud your desire,
rose of my darkest garden,Buried sun,
withering silently,
deep into silent oceans of gray.

be the one to break the veil of my darkness,
eternally aboard a tainted raincloud,
sailing far away to one more fantasy,
where a purple dream can swim its way out,
to a world where lucid dreams intertwine with reality,
the blue heaven my reality will never be.

i hav four kinds ov days...

1) A day when I go out and meet someone more knowledgable than me, so I learn from him, and that is the day of my benefit and profit.

2) A day when I go out and meet someone less knowledgable than me, so I teach him, and that is the day of my reward.

3) A day when I got out and meet someone like me and I study and review with him, and that is the day of my lesson.

4) A day when I go out and meet someone below my level but sees himself as being above my level, so I don't talk to him, and I make that the day for my rest.

Sham kay sitaray say
Raat k andherey tak
Faasla he kitna hai…
Chaandni ki barkha say
Koondtay sawerey tak
Raasta he kitna hai…
Saans kay ukharnay say
Aakhri baseray tak
Marhala he kitna hai…
Ibtada bhi tareeki
Inteha bhi tareeki
Darmiyaan dono kay
Boond bhar sawera hai…

I'm...by Atif

"I'm a mere shadow of a life passed, my self, my soul, my death, my world, you & my heart!"

dusk's falling on my decadent reality.
my everyday landscape keeps drowning,
I'm a microscopic orange stain in a rusty universe.
i hope u'll come 2night...
surprising thread of my thoughts, my guide and lover,
let me cross again the dark frontier of my fantasies!
so close but uncertain to reach, this blurry paradise hides behind my eyelids.

release me...
and

I'll fade like a drop in the infinite ocean of a dream.

unknown...

here's a story I read a few days back ...

An oldy, but a goody :)

This is one of the best explanations of why Allah allows pain and suffering that I've seen. It’s an explanation other people will understand.A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. Barber began to work; they began to have a good conversation. They talked about many things and various subjects.

When they eventually touched on the subject of Allah, the barber said, “I don’t believe that Allah exists”.“Why do you say that?” asked the customer. “ Well, you just have to go out in the street to realise that Allah doesn’t exist. Tell me, if Allah exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If Allah existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain, I can’t imagine a loving Allah who would allow all of these things”.The customer thought for a moment, but didn’t respond because he didn’t want to start an argument.

The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just after he left the barbers shop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and entered the barbershop again and he said to the barber, “You know what? Barbers do not exist”. “How can you say that?” asked the surprised barber. “I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!” “No!” the customer exclaimed. “Barbers don’t exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards like that man outside”. “Ah, but barbers do exist! What happens is, people do not come to me”. “Exactly!” affirmed the customer. “That’s the point! Allah, too, does exist! What happens, is, people don’t go to Him and do not look for Him.

that’s why there’s so much pain and suffering in the world”.

Lovenote to a stranger by Atif.

why have you drifted so far away
from my body, the scent of your sweat
faded from my teeshirt why have you
slipped away so silent so cold beyond
the words the walls the reach

of grasping fingers the animal
thirst of blinded hours

The demons have choked in my head, the doorways
lost. The streets where your breaths
welled like the ocean wind, filling cries
of seagulls and unborn children in my head...

the streetshave been devoured by mist, as if
they never were. As if you never were

the ancient god

of storms and frenzied prayers
and secret shrines; as if you never
spread the night sky around my shoulders,
your body - feverish, bright - burning like stars.

Tell me why I can'trecognize your name anymore,
why your body
has become a land I have never tread - my streets
devoured by mist, as if they never were.
Why did you let me drift
so far awaythat I cannot return?
For I stillnurse the ghost of you
in my mind, like a hidden madness, an
imaginary wound... so far, so
unreal that nothing
can ever touch you
no love
no tears
no blood

Insanities by Atif.

I could've been the desire in your eyes, and stayed like that forever. Bathed in the seething fragrance of your body. Breathed in the red dust of your soul. Spilled in the liquid rudeness of your purple gaze.

Let me drown
Let me drown
Let me drown

I bloom like the last finger of jasmine on your stormy nights.

Matterialism...

We're shifting, and in the process of packing I have found myriad of small useless colorful things which were perfectly hidden in the obscurity of my room. Old broken things that are mostly of no use, that deserve to be thrown away or given off. I would do neither. The narcissist me would cajole me to keep them only because they're mine. The logistic me would give off wild persuading logics to put them in my prospect cupboard. The creative me would tempt me about the beautiful color they possess and how they would decor my room. The possessive me would take over and I would want to keep them no matter what.

I don't like the notion of people collecting so many thing, and I don't even like the idea of me doing the same. It make me something of a materialistic person, A lover of things - breathless, worthless, emotionless cold things, which don't feel and cant love you back.

Also, Materialistic people are mean, they possess things and only things can bewitch them, fascinate them and ensnare them. I guess they don't even have the capacity and desire to love people.

I will give off all, I think. I don't want to be materialistic and I wonder if loving cold, bleak, emotionless, worthless but breathing people, who don't feel and cant love you back, will ever make me one?

I am still a moth trapped in the coldness of cold. and locked securely in the pristine cages of norms, notions, ethics. Chained and cuffed to have someone, anyone, lead me, coerce me, persuade me into doing something I will loathe to do. and the moth still yearns for something impossible - freedom. and Transformation - in to a butterfly!

Pain is only thr wen thr is no pain..by Atif.

Sitting under this tree that echoes both the symphony of life and death I see students playing before me…..mostly these are freshmen playing cricket occasionally producing strange sounds to bring me back from my melancholic reverie to see them and cheer at how good they look. I laugh at their naivety and then keep moving my fingers in rhythm to the rhythm of my thoughts. Slowly and gradually they are disappearing into the fogginess of life. their faces getting dimmer and dimmer…their movements becoming slower and nimble…I felt myself alighting into a stage where there is no space and time…no worries and no elation… where there is a longing to cry and feel nothing at the same time….I am alone here and cool wind is blowing playing with my veil..disturbing it…chilling my blood in my veins and leaving my fingers weaker and weaker and yet I go on writing.I am frozen in my own melancholic thoughts but I feel an extraordinary coldness in the environment.

the murmuring around me is like death and yes there is ……death before me.

I felt a chill passing through my each limb as I hear some one around me saying…

“It’s a funeral …..Quite for a while! But behind me chatting continues.

I see a group of men coming towards the graveyard with a man in front holding a bundle of white sheets.

“Yes it’s a funeral but a funeral of someone who had barely opened his eyes”

someone said.

Why is it that my emotions are different from the women who bore that child….

Had it been my child I would never have handed them over to bury him here alone…..

away from me.

But brave is the woman. I wonder...But perhaps too much pain leaves us numb.Perhaps when we suffer a lot we cease to feel painPerhaps….Pain is only when there is no painAndThere is no pain when there is too much pain.I wonder if it’s right.

Silently resolving by Atif.

Wired and tired of trying – all again

Spoke to the ones, I didn’t met in pain

Story I spoke or even wrote did twice

And a while, I spoke the allies disguised

Voices that burn fires in my head

Talking and talking – and turning once said

Spoken once or twice or even thrice

Heard did who? – raise up his voice

Working out with some what confusion

Breathing – air as none I spoke a vision

I stay quite, or silence, do I indeed

But the voice is clearly, seen in my eyes

If not heard as a voice of greed

So I stay away, and stay quite

Kept a somewhat violent right

That music – so wonderfully tuned
And the dance – so delightful

I compromised – but paused the day

Difference that spoke by it self

I did not view – but overview

I did do – not did – but for you

I kept silent and once again

I kept silent – so I viewed

In the rear side of the story

Denied I did not neither declined

But defined, with conformity I sat and I wrote all I had

But and then it was “goodbye”

What happened to it, all a question..

That rose and demanded an answer

It was the end – that end, I have not seen

But heard a lot about

nd its beauties

So shall when it come

I shall see – and

then only

I shall be…

I Repel by Atif.

Death inspires me, in a different way

I succeed, reluctantly with greed

Emotions deep within, I’d rather say

I indeed haven’t sow the seed

Vivid it might seem, vivacious as life

I recommend silence, when seen

Remorse comes after thee thrive

Remembrance is just so mean

Chaos, Confusion, Restrict, Repulsion

I insist with anger but politely

Re-confine my attitude or vision

I repulse the strain, is I,

I or me

Completely diagnosed, with intelligence I repel …

I ain't You by Atif

That art though my head

I indeed might instead

Of though that I shall

Indeed I as well

Is we?

Or is a broken arrow falling from the

Stems of a tree, like the leaf’s fall

Before winter thou called spring

A fluctuation in a slight burnt thought

Of as a human mind with though greed

But dressed in humanity –

with heavenly

Feathered angel wings

I thou we – reconsider a remedy for

Peace or indulgence – to retreat – as thou

Can consider but cannot deny – if is –

Then what is you greatness about?

Is thy face or thee mistake

I take, I take, intake

Responses, vision, a view

I ain’t, no, I ain’t you

lost in the Cage by Atif

Sometimes I see things,time I realize

Things that I cannot explain – neither visualize

It sticks in my head and stimuli-ze

The cells of wondering brain of mine

I complicate sometimes the thoughts

Though it’s so simple a lot

Little higher, beaten wire

I speak of a different style

I did not see neither did define

What has been found in an either line

I complicate but ain’t not inside

I simply to thy self define

Simplicity dissolved in not greed No,

not even selfishness but

The need of not equality

But a slight bit of equilibrium

Oh! Where am I?

A changeWhat was I supposed to range?

Humm… define but lets not

Let it stay untouched and purely engaged.

the caged soul..

The cage around my soulIs built by my finite flesh.

Invisible yet existing!

Fragile yet forceful!

If only I could see through the web of my desires

If only I could burn and beat my Satan

I can find the golden enviable key,

To unlock the gate of my self made cage.

What stops me is the fear

The forbidden fear!

Of the ones who fear themselves

Of those who are fatal like me

Of those who are trapped in the same black old cage.

May curse be upon such fear!

If only I could break that barrier

And be blessed with the key

I’ll never see the skyAnd bow till I die.

One step! is all it takes

And I’ll be skies, clouds, and stars

Away from all fears

To the fear of my only Lord!

Sweet Dreamssss..

Don’t resent the work.

It gives you the strength to stand

whole and silent

before the vast Mystery.

From word to word I roam,

From dawn to dusk.

Dream in,

Dream out --

I pass myself and towns,

A human satellite.

I wait, am hopeful, as one who waits at the rock

For the spring to well forth and ever well on.

I feel as bright as if I tented somewhere in the Milky Way.

To urge the world to feel I walk through lonesome solitudes.

All around me lightning explodes sparks from my glance

To reveal all light, unveil faces everywhere.

Godward,

onward to the final weighingovercoming heavy weight with thirst.

Constantly,

the longings of all born call out,

"Is anyone around?"

I know each one is HE,

but in my heart there writhes a tear;

When of men and rocks and trees I hear;

All plead "Feel us"All beg "See us"God!

Lend me your eyes!

I came to be, to sow the seed of sight in the world,

To unmask the God who disguised Himself as world--

And yes, I wait to be the first to announce

"The Dawn."

Ramadan leaving...

Peace be upon you, O month of daytime fasting!

Peace be upon you, O month of nighttime vigil!

Peace be upon you, O month of true faith!

Peace be upon you, O month of the Quran!

Peace be upon you, O month of the radiant lights!

Peace be upon you, O month of forgiveness and pardon!

Peace be upon you, O month of the ascending steps of Paradise and of salvation from the descending steps of Hell!

Peace be upon you, O month of the worshipful penitents!

Peace be upon you, O month of those who know from spiritual experience!

Peace be upon you, O month of those who exercise discriminating judgment!

Peace be upon you, O month of safety and security!

You are a prison for disobedient sinners, and for the truly devout you are a place of comfort. Peace be upon the lamps and lanterns that shine so bright!

Peace be upon the sleepless eyes, and upon the streaming tears!

Peace be upon the illuminated niches in the mosques, and upon the tears that are spilled and shed!

Peace be upon the sighs that arise from hearts that are aflame!

O Allah, include us among those whose fasting and prayers have been accepted, among those whose evil deeds You have transformed into good deeds, among those whom You have allowed by Your mercy to enter Your Gardens of Paradise, and among those whose degrees You have exalted,

O Most Merciful of the merciful, ya Arhamar Rahimiyn

Each new day

we are given

Is a blessing from God
Each breath at waking

A new beginning
Take nothing for granted

Time and fortune are fleeting
Each exhalation

May be your last
O Friend, breathe

the morning light
The rise and fall of your lungs

Is the body’s prostration
The prayer of life

Invoking His name

All-ah! All-ah!

Forerunner...

You are your own forerunner, and the towers you have builded are but the foundation
of your giant-self. And that self too shall be a foundation.
And I too am my own forerunner, for the long shadow stretching before me at sunrise
shall gather under my feet at the noon hour. Yet another sunrise shall lay another
shadow before me, and that also shall be gathered at another noon.
Always have we been our own forerunners, and always shall we be. And all that we have
gathered and shall gather shall be but seeds for fields yet unploughed. We are the fields
and the ploughmen, the gatherers and the gathered.
When you were a wandering desire in the mist, I too was there, a wandering desire.
Then we sought one another, and out of our eagerness dreams were born. And dreams
were time limitless, and dreams were space without measure.
And when you were a silent word upon Life's quivering lips, I too was there, another
silent word. Then Life uttered us and we came down the years throbbing with memories
of yesterday and with longing for tomorrow, for yesterday was death conquered and
tomorrow was birth pursued.
And now we are in God's hands. You are a sun in His right hand and I an earth in His
left hand. Yet you are not more, shining, than I, shone upon.

Faces...

I have seen a face with a thousand countenances, and a face that was but a single
countenance as if held in a mould.
I have seen a face whose sheen I could look through to the ugliness beneath, and a face
whose sheen I had to lift to see how beautiful it was.
I have seen an old face much lined with nothing, and a smooth face in which all things
were graven.
I know faces, because I look through the fabric my own eye weaves, and behold the
reality beneath.

I leant upon a coppice gate

When Frost was spectre-gray,

And Winter's dregs made desolate

The weakening eye of day.

The tangled bine-stems scored the sky

Like strings of broken lyres,

And all mankind that haunted nigh

Had sought their household fires.

The land's sharp features seemed to be

The Century's corpse outleant,

His crypt the cloudy canopy,

The wind his death-lament.

The ancient pulse of germ and birth

Was shrunken hard and dry,

And every spirit upon earth

Seemed fevourless as I.

At once a voice arose among

The bleak twigs overhead

In a full-hearted evensong

Of joy illimited;

An aged thrush,

frail, gaunt, and small,

In blast-be ruffled plume,

Had chosen thus to fling his soul

Upon the growing gloom.

So little cause for carolings

Of such ecstatic sound

Was written on terrestrial things

Afar or nigh around,

That I could think there trembled through

His happy good-night air

Some blessed

The day the dust of Heart was being kneaded

A dewdrop of Love was dropped in.......

And there ......

upon Their Fall .......

That dewdrop turned into torrents of

in brimful eyes of

Lovers banished from their

Beloved's Garden of

Oneness.........

Hu! .......

Hu!

I have a heart that no wine whatsoever can console,

Except the wine of ever recalling the joy of joining with the Beloved.

Haqq!

(There are as many Ways to the Beloved as there are created Souls; and I take the shortcut: my heart's hidden door to You!)

You are

We in our Oneness

The Soul of all souls,

Love of all loves,

Light of all lights

Shining on from the East of Love

and Light;

Spreading over our Hearts'

Horizons to the West of beautiful souls and minds;

Glowing and growing into full panoramic vistas of our entire heavenly

collective Being...

May It be so!May It ever be so!

Medicine 4 losers,lovers & everyone...

This is a pray..

Oh Allah take me to Madina..

The City of Great Beloved..

The Master of Your Lovers..

The Land

where peace is still in the air

and

the sand particles perfumed in the perfumes of Love

kiss over the seekers' faces

Let me put my head on the lap of

The Holy Beloved

The Pacifier of burning hearts

The Healer of losers' sobs

O God,

we ask you with every request

we praise You with

Your every Name!

we kiss

Your Greatest Name!

we ask you with every request

please,

us to the House of

Your Holy Beloved!!

oh my Desired One!

i say and write

these words

to please You!!

on one day,

when my words

will all have been gone away

after having given

You all of them!

then i will have none of them!

then i will give

You my priceless

but best of tears!!

to make You pleased!

(Wordly love sometimes kicks off the insane piteous heart and push it off into the realm of wonders: the Kingdom of True Love!Let us pray for all insane lover and loser hearts!)

I have lost only what the moth loses

in the candle flame—ash.

I have lost what falls behind

the turning sunflower—shadows.

I have lost the milky scales that cover the eyes

of a snake about to shed.

I have lost what the skeleton gives upto the worms and the bleaching sun.

I have lost the empty husk a cicada leaves

for a few months in the chorus of summer after seventeen years in the ground.

At the baggage carousel

I couldn't find a tagwith my name on it,

because all the tags said

YOU.

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim
A man knocked at the door of his beloved.
"Who are you, trusted one?"
thus asked the friend.
He answered:
"I!" The friend said:
"Go away,
Here is no place for people raw and crude!
"What, then,
could cook the raw and rescue him
But separation's fire and exile's flame?
The poor man went to travel a whole year,
And burnt from separation from his friend,
And he matured, was cooked and burnt, returned
And carefully approached the friend's abode.
He walked around it now in cautious fear
Lest from his lips unfitting words appear.
His friend called out:
"Who is there at my door?"
The answer:
"You, dear, you are at the door?"
He said:
"Come in, now that you are all I-
There is no room in this house for two 'I's!"

Day and night is a struggle between desire, and suppressing desire,
My heart agonizes me, and I agonize my heart.

The heart envies the eyes - the pleasure of its observation,
And the eyes envy the heart - the pleasure of its reflection

When Allah bestows His grace upon a servant, He opensthe way to reach Him. Then the remembrance (dhikr) of Allahpredominates.

The call to love was issued throughout the worlds,

Yet he whom the Beloved Himself loved,

Was granted the remembrance of the Beloved

fading memories...

"Say to my friends, when they look upon me, dead

Weeping for me and mourning me in sorrow

Do not believe that this corpse you see is myself

In the name of God, I tell you, it is not I,

I am a spirit, and this is naught but flesh

It was my abode and my garment for a time.

I am a treasure, by a talisman kept hid,

Fashioned of dust, which served me as a shrine,

I am a pearl, which has left it's shell deserted,

I am a bird, and this body was my cage

Whence I have now floron forth and it is left as a token

Praise to God, who hath now set me free

And prepared for me my place in the highest of the heaven,

Until today I was dead, though alive in your midst.

Now I live in truth, with the grave - clothes discarded.

Today I hold converse with the saints above,

With no veil between, I see God face to face.

I look upon "Loh-i-Mahfuz" and there in I read

Whatever was and is and all that is to be.

Let my house fall in ruins, lay my cage in the ground,

Cast away the talisman, it is a token, no more

Lay aside my cloak, it was but my outer garment.

Place them all in the grave, let them be forgotten,

I have passed on my way and you are left behind

Your place of abode was no deweling place for me.

Think not that death is death, nay, it is life,

A life that surpasses all we could dream of here,

While in this world, here we are granted sleep,

Death is but sleep, sleep that shall be prolonged

Be not frightened when death draweth night,

It is but the departure for this blessed home

Think of the mercy and love of your Lord,

Give thanks for His Grace and come without fear.

What I am now, even so shall you be

For I know that you are even as I am

The souls of all men come forth from God

The bodies of all are compounded alike

Good and evil, alike it was ours

I give you now a message of good cheer

May God's peace and joy for evermore be yours."