I learned several things at once:

Decisions are not to be based on our relationships with others, but on our relationship with Being.

Anger is no good, on Self or the Other.

The best basis of action is to do the appropriate thing.

If I hurt the Universe, or plan to, it will hurt me.

I planned to abandon my Universe, my Universe showed it will leave me stranded.

I am loved, but being ungrateful.

I need to be truthful; and at the same time, stop imagining.

If I am consistently led to imagining ill, then the key question is where is the discontent coming from?

Perhaps
I should remove myself from my circumstances.
There is violence in the air, and I absorb illness from my surroundings.

Yesterday, a couple of people expressed to me an almost similar discontent; that quite buzzing feeling.

So I will go, but not at the cost of breaking hearts.

If I break expectations, it must be for Allah's sake, not my private agenda.

In taking action for Allah is blessing; in serving self's interest is hell.

This is all for the good, and the better.

I must align my perceptions quickly, for the Universe is under a great shift - the NOW moment is out to abolish the past and the future.

The Matrix indeed is being reloaded.

The Universe is really a mirror of my being. What I do to it, it does to me!

This is very insightful spiritual lesson that I was meant to have.

Having learned these, my strange mental condition - "constriction" as its technically called in spirituality - nearly abolished. I feel an expansion of the heart, a calmness.

Someone said,

"Sometimes we try to move a giant tree, when Allah only expects us to plant a seed."

So I sit, I wait for the seed to show what it will grow into.

If it dies, so it is by the will of Allah.

I am not at odds with my Universe anymore.

May my heart be in peace!